My Life as a Young Adult

INTRODUCTION

Name	Natalia Younia Anak Nelson
Gender	Female
Date of Birth	07 December 2000
Place of Birth	Limbang’s General Hospital
Family Background	Eldest of 3 siblings
Education Background	Currently studying for the Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology
Life Goals	To make full use of life
Motto	Opportunity comes once in a lifetime

MILESTONES

• Getting my “First Acceptance Letter”
  • It was back in 2018 when I first got a proper acceptance letter to attend a pre-university course in Universiti Malaysia Sarawak (UNIMAS). It was a great first achievement for me since I had been dying to attend the course since I was 15.

• Moving away to study
  • Going to pre-university was the very first time that I have moved far from home and it was also my first time living in a hostel. My very first roommates were my own family members of distant connections and since they had lived in a hostel before, they helped me a lot in settling in the first few days.

• Experiencing a Culture Shock
  • Living in a society filled with different cultures and different backgrounds in my tertiary studies was a shock to me. I experienced being downgraded by people who came from better schools and much more but the thing that got me through were the friends I met along the way making me think that not all people are bad.

• Gaining Self-Awareness
  • It has always been a common thing of being an Asian to have the parents and elder family members to choose what one has to be in the future. Finishing pre-university back in 2019 was a tough one as it was time to choose that one field of study that would be my very own future. Truth be told, almost every parents want their kid to be a doctor or even an engineer but by the time I had to pick out my field of choice, I put Psychology as my first choice without my parents knowing about it because I knew that they would disapprove again. By doing so, I was trying to be firm with my decision and not let others affect my life decisions anymore. From there on, I tried to keep the authority of making my own choices and learn to accept fully all the consequences of my actions. Thankfully, in the end, my parents were being more accepting than I expected.

• Facing my Fears
  • I had never been a fan of crowds and attention because I get anxious when I am around people and being in a competition especially makes the anxiety in me scream but on the second week of degree, I took the courage to go for my college’s audition for an acoustic competition and tried to start building my courage. With the help of my seniors and friends, I manage to stand on stage and do something I love the most in front of tonnes of people.

• Dealing with Deaths
  • Back in 2014, I lost an amazing big brother. It took me almost a full 3 years to cope with his loss because I had never lost someone very dearly to me. I developed situational depression symptoms but it started to heal slowly within those 3 years. However, as I was starting to get better, I loss my grandfather who was very close to me in the May of 2017. Since then, it was very hard for me to even think of recovering back to my usual self. It was until the October of 2019 when I took the courage to meet a psychiatrist to at least find a spark of hope of recovery.

REFLECTION

• Open-Mindedness: 84%
  •  I feel like this is somewhat true about me because I love learning about new things, creating new experiences and finding new ways to improve myself and those around me. I believe that my friends too think of me this way because although I am not an optimistic person, I believe that there are ways out of a problem and there are also other alternatives towards success.

• Conscientiousness: 21%
  • I do not believe that this is close to what I am showing to others although in my head all of these were true because I do not believe that I am someone dependable. As I reflect on this category, I realize that I was masking my natural personality in a persona that I am showing to those around me.

• Extraversion: 5%
  • This result is very true for me because I tend to be an introvert and enjoy my times alone a lot. I do not enjoy showing myself in front of others and I could not get myself to be more engaged in communications with another being.

• Agreeableness: 9%
  • This is quite contrary with who I am now, because I trust others more than I do with myself. I can easily agree with others without thinking about myself and it could be a blessing and a curse for me to be disagreeing with myself.

• Negative Emotionality: 89%
  • This is very true for me but for those around me who are not close to me might disagree because I never show this trait to the world because I too am scared of how negative I am to the extend that I hope that I could mask this personality of mine perfectly.

CONCLUSION

I personally believe that this is the stage where I am in conflict of letting myself be who I am or continue on shaping myself into someone that others want me to be. For now, I do not know what I want because for years all I have been doing is growing up being someone the society would feel proud of, but I am truly glad to have friends and families who support me to become who I am without being ashamed of it.

ADDITIONAL REFLECTIONS

• Open-Mindedness: 20%
  •  I feel like this might be accurate because I tend to do things by the rule and sometimes I feel like I have less interest in doing things. Plus, I usually have friends who tend to describe me as a humble person but the only thing that might be wrong about this is that I actually tend to be a little more creative especially when doing works in groups.

• Conscientiousness: 9%
  • I feel like this is somewhat true, but not entirely because although I sometimes tend to be undependable and disorganized, I would still always do things carefully to avoid carelessness and also due to the fact that I might be afraid of mistakes.

• Extraversion: 16%
  • This result is something that I could really agree to because I am usually the quite one in the crowd and I am usually comfortable in a smaller group of friends. I only show my true self around those I trust as I am quite reserved.

• Agreeableness: 24%
  • I might think of this result as somehow different than who I am because I often feel guilty if I ever criticize others. Plus,I too could sometimes, in a bad mood pour out some rude and harsh words and actions. However, I am always trying my best to better myself and hide this flaw of mine.

• Negative Emotionality: 48%
  • I believe that this is true about me as I am always pictured as the calm one in my group of friends. I might get anxious sometimes but it usually is easy to let it go away if I try my best to do so.

• Open-Mindedness: 13%
  •  I believe that this is something true about me because I am often a person who abides to the rules set. I tend to have less interests and prefer to do things that I am familiar with.

• Conscientiousness: 48%
  • I am in the middle. Sometimes, when I do not feel very productive, I would let things go their own way and just follow the flow. However, when there comes the time when I feel motivated, I would be very productive and complete goals I had targeted.

• Extraversion: 9%
  • This is very true because I do not like crowds and being in loud places. I love peaceful places and going for strolls along empty sidewalks with my friends after night classes.

• Agreeableness: 74%
  • This is somehow true about me because I often am fast to sympathize others and forgive them even though they had done wrong to me. I do not believe in having grudges to make life something worth living for.

• Negative Emotionality: 22%
  • I tend to be anxious sometimes, like when I’m about to present something or even try something new, but I believe in myself and feel secure in my own self. That is why I am usually able to keep my composure.

• Open-Mindedness: 68%
  •  I feel like this result shows what I mostly am and love. I love seeking new experiences and I get attached to a lot of interests. I love originality and expressing myself through my passion and hobbies.

• Conscientiousness: 68%
  • This is also true to me because I am a goal setter and once I have my goals, I would do anything to achieve it. I could be reliable sometimes and I usually keep track of the things I did and should do.

• Extraversion: 30%
  • I could agree with this as well because I love to keep a low profile and avoid social interaction if it is not important. I tend to be shy but I try my best to deliver myself during presentations and other group projects.

• Agreeableness: 51%
  • This result shows a part of me that is true – which is I am a forgiving person to some but if something annoys me so, I tend to pull myself away from it and feel irritated by it.

• Negative Emotionality: 65%
  • I believe that this is something ordinary as a young adult growing up because in this era where perfection is pretty much desired, it feels like there is not room for mistakes to happen and that usually makes me anxious.

• Open-Mindedness: 32%
  •  I tend to be a follower because I believe in following rules and examples. I tend to be creative sometimes but there are also times when I could not find the right words to explain my ideas to those around me.

• Conscientiousness: 58%
  • I believe that I am an organized person although there are sometimes I tend to go sideways due to packed schedules and the situation I am in. However, I try to keep on continue practicing discipline and would be glad to be relied on.

• Extraversion: 34%
  • I agree with this result as I am a quite person and I do not like to be either the first or the last because I do not to have attention being all over me. I too feel comfortable with a small group of friends who knows me well.

• Agreeableness: 34%
  • I could be a little harsh sometimes but I usually try to keep it under control. I tend to get irritated easily but for some reasons, I always try to keep it in to not hurt others around me.

• Negative Emotionality: 57%
  • Being in the middle of being anxious and calm, there I am. I usually feel anxious when I have to face crowds and my higher-ups but I usually tend to look and be calm at the outside than the inside.